When a tv show ends...

omfg, when a show gets cut...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO MAKE THE DESISION THAT NO-ONE WATCHES THE TV SHOW??? ARE YOU CALLING ME A NO-ONE? WOW THANKS.. YAY FOR MY SELF WORTH NOW DROPPING..

In all seriousness, we've probably all had a tv show we loved / watched that got cut.

it's happened to me several times, i don't know whether it's because god hates me, karma or i just have the shittest taste in tv shows ever. When Ugly Betty got cut I WAS BED RIDDEN FOR 3 WEEKS...... anyone else feel the same? I LOVED UGLY BETTY.

if you didn't watch ugly betty.. end your life, nah i'm joking..kinda.

no but seriously you should watch it, it's amazing. and i'm crying with EMOTIONAL SCARS!!!!!!!!

tv's shows are getting axed left right and centre, it reminds me of the sugababes, everytime i blink they have a new member. it's put me off watching tv? you know? i don't want to get attached to a tv show, if they're going to fucking axe it! okay i sound socially retarded but if i'm sick i deserve a tv show, if they end desperate housewives, vampire diaries, true blood or weeds.. i will cut a bitch.

LESBIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK BEFORE WE START, I DO NOT HATE LESBIANS, I AM NOT A LESBIAN HATER
NO H8, AND ALL THAT SHIT. they just simply confuse me.

"ok so lesbians arn't attracted to men. obvious statement of the day <-- so why are so many lesbians attracted to other lesbians who basically look more like men than men do. am i failing to grasp something here? if your 'girlfriend' looks like she has more testosterone than your average hell's angel then you might aswell be attracted to men... or is all about the minge and tits? All to their own and what not, but it just confuses me a little. "

yes that's her from sex and city, yes, she's a scissor sister.. if you catch my drift.. so please can someone fill me in, what's with lesbians and i understand it's more than just physical attraction.. clearly since your girlfriend resembles a military cage fighter.. but where is the ladies that love the megan fox lookalikes, where are the pretty lesbians!!!!!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!!

YOU'RE TALL

hi, i thought i'd let you all know i'm still sick.. not only am i rocking a sore throat, and sore stomach now.. i feel pressure behind my left eye, i don't even want to go to the doctor now as i'll just sound stupid rhyming all of the stuff wrong with me! ps i've been sleeping like 12 hours a night, fml. ANYWAYS enough about how sick i am.

today i've decided to blog on people who state the obvious about my height, not only do they state the obvious, they state the obvious with a shocked face, and it makes me want to grip the closest mug / cup next to me by the handle and repeatedly bash it against their face.

For those who don't know, i'm 6'6 nearly 6'7 .. it's okay get it out of your system.. go on

"holy fuckballs you're tall that's like giant material hehehe"  mk, i'm glad we got that over.. anyways everytime i meet someone, the first thing they'll say is "ahaha you're really tall!" or.. when i haven't seen someone in a while, "Wow, you've grew taller" "stop eating fertalizer" "when you going to stop growing?" "You make me look small" .. i could go on.. it's the one's who ask me like.. "Why are you so tall?" WHY ARE YOU SO RETARDED HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHY I'M SO TALL DO YOU THINK I STUDIED A TALL DEGREE IN SCHOOL DO I LOOK LIKE A TALL EXPERT NO I DID NOT MAJOR IN HEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

"wow you're so tall" OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WONDERING FOR YEARS WHY PEOPLE KEEP LOOKING AT ME AND WHY I KEPT HITTING MY HEAD OFF THE TOP OF THE DOOR FRAME AND WHY I COULDN'T GET CERTAIN CLOTHES TO FIT ME THANK YOU SO MUCH CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH I'LL SEND YOU A GIFT BASKET FOR YOUR MIRACULOUS DISCOVERY.

why do these people exist?

HOLY BURN FML

"just gonna stand there and watch me burn, well that's alright because i like the way it hurts"

k i love rihanna, as you probably already know since you're stalking my blog, but please this girl is deluded, if she likes the way a burn feels, because lets just say i've meddled in my fair share of delicious burns to the leg, and i'm going to tell you all about how that night played out..

So it was a thursday night, i was settled, enjoying my day off,  like a usual internet addict browsing the web, etc etc. I was going to skype my friend Austin, and told him on facebook chat that i'd brb as i was going to make a cup of tea and then we'd skype.. so i go down stairs, i'm in my boxer briefs obviously it's late and whatever i'm not making excuses to being a tramp, anyways i boil the kettle and i'm waiting and have the radio on, so i pick up the kettle and i'm walking across the tiles, and next thing, waheeey slide ass over tit and pour the boiling water all over my legs, start wailing like whitney houston.. run into my mum like, omfg!! i'v fucking burnt my leg!! screams!! and she's like *panic* OKAY GO TO THE SHOWER AND RUN COLD WATER, so i did that, and it was burning like a bitch, you know the pain you can't even cry because it's just *that* sore? yeah holla at your homie it was burning like a bitch, and i was just sitting with the water on my leg, freezing cold trying my hardest not to beat my face multiple times off the bathroom tiles because it was *that* sore.. so my mum rang the doctor, and they told her to bring me to hospital.. my mum doesn't drive, evidently i don't either, so we have to order a the taxi, we're waiting like 20 minutes, i feel like my leg is about to fall off as it's freezing cold yet vibrating with pain.. i'm all for sitting in the shower in my boxers shivering like crazy and resembling the bitch from the movie the grudge, but my leg looked oddly like corned beef and it was making me worry (what's corned beef you ask?) well i got you this picture:

                                                        

yes, beautiful right? .. so the wait was over, the taxi arrived, beep beep, 12 am. i put on a pair of jogging pants, and because they're grey and my legs are wet i now look like i've pissed myself. fun! so now i feel bad, but the taxi driver, was so nice, she was trying to take my mind off the burn, as i'm sure you'll know when you burn yourself, and there's no water on the burn it vibrates and HURTS ALOT.. imagine a burn from your knee to the top of your thigh. yeah, so anyways. she kept talking and telling me how she had to rush to the hospital one night and i was so close to saying LISTEN BITCH STFU HOW IS A SPRAINED THUMB ANYTHING LIKE THE FREDDY KREUGER LOOKING SHIT THAT'S GOING ON WITH MY LEGS RIGHT NOW.. but i refrained.

So we get into the hospital, the a&e, and the woman behind the desk was such a stupid bitch 

my leg feels like a charizard had just explosive diarrhoea'ed up the side of it, and this woman is asking stupid ass questions, in a stupid ass voice REALLY FUCKING SLOWLY..

Okay.. so whats...your..sons...name...what.s....his...da...te...of...birth...types slowly...

i ended saying "EXCUSE ME BUT CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE I CAN GO THIS REALLY HURTS" 

so she told me to follow the yellow line, i felt like dorothy following these stupid ass markings, and i turn the corner, and they rush me into a stupid room, and start putting these paddings on my leg, i'd love to go into detail but i've already wrote loads and to be honest i'm starting to get emotional thinking about it as it gets me angry, but the doctor runs into the room yeah, and he asks "Okay sir, remove your trousers"

... pervert. Kidding, but i removed them, and he asks "Did you burn your genitalia?" .. lets be honest if i burnt my penis or balls i wouldn't be sitting so politely, so at this point because there's 2 nurses and 1 doctor looking at my crotch, then my face which is now the colour of my purple corned beef leg due to the embarrassment of asking does my dick look like it's been deep fried, i simply replied "no" 

3 hours later, i'm still laying on some bed which has paper sheets, which are uncomfortable as hell i felt as if i was laying in a toilet roll cloud advert but whatever 

My mum is now asking me to shut up, as i was trying my hardest not to cry so i was making these noises "tssss" "ahhh" "sssstttt" "fuckfuckfuck" you know the usual, it's now like 3:30 am and the doctor comes in, they wrap my leg up and by the end i look like i borrowed the michelin man's legs.. whos the michelin man you ask? here's a picture! 

yeah so you can now imagine my legs in multiple layer's of wrapping.. it's healed now, although it's kinda red, the doctor said it won't scar, but wow my life fucking sucks. 

just gonna stand there and watch me burn.. well that's alright because i like the way it hurts... fuck that shit, no i do not, keep ya fuckin burning to a minimum.

xo xo

my haters

okay holla..wtf at the holla, i seen the knuckle duster and felt gangster, ok whatever hey, i've decided to blog about people who hate me, they seriously deserve this post, they put alot of effort into hating me..

i'd love to say "ugh, jealousy is a sickness hating me only makes you look desperate, haters are confused lovers" etc, but no.. that's not true, seriously I'd probably hate me too if wasn't me, I'm so egotistical, stupid, upfront, rude, honest, opinionated and blunt it's more of a surprise that anyone actually likes me, but seriously some of these haters i have go to lengths that are just creepy, stalking my friends facebooks... sending them mail, or on formspring.. or making fake profiles.. it's creepy. But this is the honest truth, i'm glad i effect people, good or bad, it means i make an impact and even if i tried too, i couldn't please everyone on this earth.. i know you're thinking i could and that's really nice of you.. but it's time to stop being so delusional.. I'm only human.. seriously.. no seriously, i am only human. 

but the reason why i'm actually writing this is because i know one of you haters out there is going to read this, don't even deny it you're probably blushing while you read this now.. I CAN SEE YOU lmao ok no i can't but.. keep hatin, i'm glad you do, you keep the views up.. and whether you hate me or love me you're still thinking and talking about me. 

peace out homedawg

wtf.

irish wristwatch

try and say it "irish wristwatch" <- fast though.. cheater.

anyways the reason why i'm blogging today is not because i went to the doctors today and he told me i have glandular fever.. (fuck my life) i just felt the need to get that off my chest.

THE REASON I'M BLOGGING IS :

this is Ireland, where i live, not a scene from lord of the rings before you get excited, although you'd probably think it was lord of the rings if you seen half of the peoples feet in Ireland it's disgusting they have hooves. 

Why is it most of the time when we live in an area, we usually would rather live half way across the world? is this a cruel joke.. I've always wanted to move to America, I'm not really picky I mean sure I'd settle for a house in LA but a tin hut in Texas is pushing it, America seems to be the city were it's buzzing, think America you think of celebrities, sun, sea, beaches, money, fame. think of Ireland.. green, potatoes, leprechauns, villages, leprechauns, rainbows and leprechauns. So I'm really not picky, if you're from America I'll marry you.. i draw the line at dwarfs though, I'm 6'6 we'd look stupid. Also I've a few close friends in America, and they're so obnoxious LOL like for example we'd be talking and they'd say things like "Oh you have that in Ireland?" .. yes we're Ireland.. not Zimbabwe  YOU GUYS HAVE T.V'S??? WOW. no we're still listening to the radio. and my pc is actually made out of dried out tapeworm and lettuce leaves.

that's all.

brought to you by larry the leprechaun

call me ;)

IBS FML

So i get a throat infection, that's cool it only felt like a golf ball was stuck in my throat every time a swallowed, no biggy.. . ..cough.

then i start getting these shooting pains to my stomach, seriously i'm a hypochondriac i'm not gonna lie, if i cut my finger i'm bleeding to death, etc.

but these pains holy shit i felt like i was about to give birth (I don't know what that even feels like but whatever)

My stomach was bloated and making bubbling noises, i thought my appendix were going to explode..
I couldn't eat, it hurt then too.. so i go to the doctors, first of all he tells me it's a stomach infection, so i was like okay cool, it'll be gone soon.. a week later, i go see a different doctor.. they tell me i have IBS..

i thought my life was over, because i thought i'd have the pains forever, i have to take tablets to stop the pains, what happens is my stomach tightens and my bowel or w/e has muscle contractions so the tablets stop that..

CAN WE MAKE IT CLEAR THAT IT'S EYE WATERING SORE.. LIKE RIP YOUR STOMACH APART SORE..

okay anyways, so now the pains have calmed down, but my stomach no longer feels the way it did, before when I didn't have a problem, i wasn't concious of my stomach doing anything, but now i can feel it churning, and hear it making noises, and it's very tender.

I have to admit, i'm glad i don't have IBS-D that's the one that you can't control when you poo, and as much as i'd love to randomly shit myself and not be able to control my bowel..
but the one i have is the major pains.. i have to watch my diet, and i can't drink like coca cola.. eat sweets, etc etc.. so i've had x rays done..
in the past 2 weeks, i've seen 4 different doctors, been at the hospital 3 times and spoke to the doctor on the phone twice.
i'm still kind of delusionally hoping it's a stomach bug but whatever.

so here's the story of when i went to the hospital, they took my bloods, made me piss into a cup, which is so embarrassing because they tell you to put your urine into a cup, and i don't know how much is too much, or too little and you don't wanna piss in it loads incase they're like.. omg okay we asked for a dribble.. not a litre, and it's always really awkward.
anyways so i spoke to the doctor in the hospital and she lay me down on the bed and was like, okay.. and started prodding me in different areas on my stomach etc.
and she was like
"Okay Paul, the last examination is completely voluntary but what i'll need to do if it's okay with you, is put on gloves, i'll get another doctor in and put one finger inside your anus just to check for blood"
*can i just apologize if you're eating*

i looked at her and was in utter shock and embarrassment, i just replied "yeah no thanks i'd know if my bum was bleeding" LMAO.. it's like wow okay i've known you for 10 minutes, this relationship is moving to fast

"only if i can shove my finger up your bum afterwards!"

anyways i have a doctors appointment on wedensday for a check up, so I HOPE ITS NOT IBS............

FML