IBS FML

So i get a throat infection, that's cool it only felt like a golf ball was stuck in my throat every time a swallowed, no biggy.. . ..cough.

then i start getting these shooting pains to my stomach, seriously i'm a hypochondriac i'm not gonna lie, if i cut my finger i'm bleeding to death, etc.

but these pains holy shit i felt like i was about to give birth (I don't know what that even feels like but whatever)

My stomach was bloated and making bubbling noises, i thought my appendix were going to explode..
I couldn't eat, it hurt then too.. so i go to the doctors, first of all he tells me it's a stomach infection, so i was like okay cool, it'll be gone soon.. a week later, i go see a different doctor.. they tell me i have IBS..

i thought my life was over, because i thought i'd have the pains forever, i have to take tablets to stop the pains, what happens is my stomach tightens and my bowel or w/e has muscle contractions so the tablets stop that..

CAN WE MAKE IT CLEAR THAT IT'S EYE WATERING SORE.. LIKE RIP YOUR STOMACH APART SORE..

okay anyways, so now the pains have calmed down, but my stomach no longer feels the way it did, before when I didn't have a problem, i wasn't concious of my stomach doing anything, but now i can feel it churning, and hear it making noises, and it's very tender.

I have to admit, i'm glad i don't have IBS-D that's the one that you can't control when you poo, and as much as i'd love to randomly shit myself and not be able to control my bowel..
but the one i have is the major pains.. i have to watch my diet, and i can't drink like coca cola.. eat sweets, etc etc.. so i've had x rays done..
in the past 2 weeks, i've seen 4 different doctors, been at the hospital 3 times and spoke to the doctor on the phone twice.
i'm still kind of delusionally hoping it's a stomach bug but whatever.

so here's the story of when i went to the hospital, they took my bloods, made me piss into a cup, which is so embarrassing because they tell you to put your urine into a cup, and i don't know how much is too much, or too little and you don't wanna piss in it loads incase they're like.. omg okay we asked for a dribble.. not a litre, and it's always really awkward.
anyways so i spoke to the doctor in the hospital and she lay me down on the bed and was like, okay.. and started prodding me in different areas on my stomach etc.
and she was like
"Okay Paul, the last examination is completely voluntary but what i'll need to do if it's okay with you, is put on gloves, i'll get another doctor in and put one finger inside your anus just to check for blood"
*can i just apologize if you're eating*

i looked at her and was in utter shock and embarrassment, i just replied "yeah no thanks i'd know if my bum was bleeding" LMAO.. it's like wow okay i've known you for 10 minutes, this relationship is moving to fast

"only if i can shove my finger up your bum afterwards!"

anyways i have a doctors appointment on wedensday for a check up, so I HOPE ITS NOT IBS............

FML